Umpteen Days of Christmas In No Particular Order

On an early day this Christmas, I kinda gave this to me:
One Monkey-Cat up in the Christmas Tree.



On another day this Christmas, someone gave to me:
A squished skunk in the driveway,
And One Monkey-Cat up in the Christmas Tree.

On another day this Christmas, someone gave to me:
Vultures on the back fence....
Looking for the squished skunk
That I'd slid into a box
And hauled off to the back yard...
And I'm ignoring Monkey climbing up the Tree.



On another day this Christmas, someone gave to me:
A cold I can't get rid of.....
(---ended with a preposition! --
And I'm too sick to care;)
And the Monkey-Cat's still climbing up the Tree..

On another day this Christmas, someone gave to me:
KENNY HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!
(WHY DO I have this bad cold?)
There's vultures on the back fence,
Looking for the squished skunk.
And Monkey! Please get off the Christmas Tree!

On another day this Christmas, someone gave to me...(well, it was Kenny, not just "somebody"!):
A lovely dinner at Hotel Mac,
Great company with friends,
Two apple-pie-hot-drinks,
A taste of creme-broulet,
More time with Kenny,
---And my gosh what HAS the Monkey done to the Tree?????

On another day this Christmas, someone gave to me:
A solution for not finding the stockings:
I went and made some new ones;
And these were really big ones;
I even made cat-paw ones,
And where's the coal for Monkey?
The other cats get cookies;
(And yes, there's some for Monkey,
Although he wrecked the Tree;)
I didn't ship folks' presents;
I'm too sick to care;

I'm missing Anita's dinner;
Still to sick to worry;
The vultures have flown off now;
I won't check on the skunk;
I'm in love with my new job -
I'm writing for a paper,
Just like in the old days;
The horses are happy;

They've got their very own pasture;

It's Freya's First Christmas
In her new adopted home;

I didn't need a third yard-cat,
Not counting the neighbors',
Who come and eat the cat food
I set out for Texie and Sadie,

Who now live in cat-mansions
That used to be play-houses...
I hung their mitten stockings
Just outside their doors....

Back inside, the Dog-Cat,
Tired of Little Monkeys,
Is sleeping by the heater,
After eating all her cookies -

She's 20 years old now,
And still enjoys her Christmas...
But now she's sleeping....and...
It sounds like a great idea.....
So.... Merry Christmas - I'm gonna take a nap!

Christmas 2009 - Or...what the Monkey did to the tree THIS year....

What a beautiful tree! Topped by an angel that's been in Kenny's family for quite some time, with crystal bead garland cascading down from the top, lights arranged in an orderly fashion, and branches loaded with vertical icicles, dangling stars and angels, and an array of other ornaments.


It was nice while it lasted......

Then we got Monkey Help.

Nobody decorates a tree quite like a Monkey Cat. This year's tally...so far...are 5 Christmas balls, 8 icicles, one spray of cherries, 5 ribbons (some chewed in half so if they had been holding ornaments, those, too, were now on the floor....) The skirting around the tree's base has been pulled to one side, and the bottom layer lies wadded up on top.

You'd think that at 4, The Little Monkey - who isn't quite so little anymore - would be bored with tree redecorating. Or that perhaps he couldn't wedge himself into the tree.

But you'd be wrong.

Here, he's halfway to the top, and the only reason he didn't go higher is because I pulled out the camera. Notice the no-longer-beautifully-cascading-crystal-garland.....

This is what our tree looked like on Christmas morning.

Poor tree!

The ornaments are in disarray. You may see some of the icicles are horizontal, as if they were frozen during a stiff wind. The garland is a mess. Some of the branches have been stripped of their decor.

However, Kenny and I were puzzled early Christmas morning. Something else was off. It was if the ornaments had been moved around on the tree....???

When we looked more closely, Kenny and I finally realized the angel on top of the tree was facing the wall. This year, The Monkey - yes, that innocent little fellow in front of the presents - had managed to turn the tree around during the night.

That's some feat, since we always tie the tree to the ceiling beam before we dare decorate it.

He's lucky he didn't get coal in his little paw-shaped stocking this year!

Who....me???

Would I, your own sweet Little Monkey, do anything to harm the pretty Christmas tree?

Me, wrapping myself up in this box to be your bestest best present ever?

I have no idea who unraveled the skirting under the tree.

Must have been some OTHER Monkey.

Not me.

Nope.

Let the Christmas Games begin!

The waiting is over! The Christmas Games have started!

Those of you who have read this blog in its Yahoo version know this time of year has its own sport - Monkey vs. the Christmas Tree. The tree comes armed with flashing lights, guardian angels, icicle spears and stars. The Monkey is armed with teeth, claws and a determination to strip the tree of its decorations.

The only reason the tree remains standing at the end of the Christmas season is because it's tied to the ceiling.

This year, Monkey is 4. You might think that with maturity comes a disdain for such childish - kittenish? - sports as climbing the tree, snagging a feathered bird ornament and plucking its tail right out of its body. You would be wrong - clearly you haven't met The Monkey.

The one thing those bird ornaments have going for them is they're embedded into branches, and ornament sprays at the very top of the tree, right at the base of the beautiful angel that has adorned the top of Kenny's Christmas trees since he was a child. (Yes, the angel is tied to the ceiling, too - just a precaution, of course, but we don't want the angel to topple to the floor the way it did the first Monkey Christmas! She IS an heirloom!)

The Games this year started as I dragged our tree out of its box and started assembling this three-part, ceiling-high, pre-lit beauty. I had just placed the middle section atop the base portion and was surprised I wasn't getting any..um...help. "Where's the Monkey?" I asked.

Surprise! Wham! Here came a paw, grabbing at my hand. Chomp! EVERYthing goes into the Monkey Mouth. Stealth Monkey had slipped amid the branches and was getting a head start.

I managed to get all three parts of the tree in place, then lashed the top branches with sturdy fishing line to the wood screws drilled into the ceiling beam overhead. The angel, wings wedged into the fishing line lashings, topped the tree even before I tested the lights.

The ornaments came next. Monkey was VERY helpful....

I may have spoiled the game a bit this year. I've draped our beaded garland vertically. In the past, the horizontal spiral around the tree made for easy pickings for The Monkey and daily replacing the lopsided garland I'd find drooped onto the floor every morning.

But the tree is up and decorated. Its pre-lit white lights shine constantly. Strands of blue lights are on a slow-glow setting, and a set of multicolored lights are on random flash for the moment. The crystal - okay, clear acrylic - ornaments catch those lights when they're on, and reflect the living room's ambiant light when the tree's lights are off. It's shiny and sparkly, just like I like it.

The Monkey likes it, too. He's already taken up residence on top of the double skirting under the tree. His spot. His tree. Who needs presents when you have The Monkey?